A Side of Faith, Hope and Love: The Sandwich Romance Novella Collection Page 6

  His gaze captured hers, emotions she didn’t dare try to interpret swirling in their depths. “Too bad.”

  She cleared her throat and grabbed the binder from her desk. “I need to be going. I have plans this evening.” Ordering in pizza and painting totally counted. “Friday, then?”

  He made another step forward, but she had nowhere to retreat to.

  “I’ll try my best to make it. We made good progress today.” He held out his hand. Unable to stop herself from being polite, she accepted the handshake.

  Big mistake. His hand engulfed hers, sending shivers of warmth up her arm. She tried to pull back, but for a split second, he held tight.

  When he let go, it was slowly, making their palms caress as they parted.

  He winked, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and strode out the door.

  Rachel collapsed into the office chair, her heart racing as if she’d just run a marathon. Which was silly. It was a simple handshake. No biggy.

  Oh who was she kidding? The man had practically asked her out.

  Putting her forehead to her desk, she blew out the breath she felt like she’d been holding forever. The worst part was, a tiny spot in her heart ached because he hadn’t.

  “Rachel, you need to stop this now.” She spoke aloud to the empty office, her voice vibrating off the walls.

  She’d already been down that path before. Learned from her mistakes. She’d find a man in God’s perfect timing and not a minute sooner. Her mom had lectured her about that since she had her first crush on a boy at thirteen.

  “Rachel, boys are a dime a dozen right now. Wait for the right one who is worthy of your heart.”

  Waiting was no fun though, not with all the attention she got from the boys in school. She was the belle of high school. The girl every guy wanted to date. Cheerleader. Homecoming queen.

  She’d dated her fair share. Been steady with a few, but high school boys were boring. She’d wanted someone older. More mature.

  College was no better.

  But then she’d met him. While at a bar with her friends. Tall. Older. With the most magnificent red hair she’d ever seen. He looked like an Irish giant, slugging down beer like a pro. And he had eyes for only her. A junior at UIC, she’d been twenty-one, celebrating her birthday that officially claimed she was an adult. Her mother would have fainted to see her flirting with a man almost twice her age.

  She’d written her number on a napkin and had coyly stuffed it in his back pocket on her way out.

  If she could take back that moment, she would in a heartbeat.

  Then again, she wouldn’t be where she was today. Wouldn’t know Maddie. Who knows where Maddie would be right now, for that matter.

  She was the poster girl of God taking mistakes and turning them into good.

  Blinking away the past, she turned and gathered her things, locked her office door, and hurried to her car.

  Sitting in the dark, the intense need for a cigarette pulled at her harder than it had in years. She’d smoked in college to look cool. But later, the smoke surrounded her and helped blur reality. Right now, she’d give anything just to escape the memories. The feelings. They bombarded her from all sides. She couldn’t—wouldn’t—give into them.

  Art’s Supermarket across the way beckoned her. One pack. Just one.

  Tightening her fist on the wheel, she took a deep breath, looked away from Art’s bright lights, and shoved down the craving. One bad decision in the past didn’t justify a stupid one in the present.

  She grabbed her phone, dialed Maddie’s cell and sank back in relief when she answered.

  “You up for some Yum-Yum Shop?”

  Eight

  Rachel dipped a spoon into her sundae at the Yum-Yum Shop, making sure she got a large glob of hot fudge on top of the vanilla ice cream. It was just that kind of day. She let the cold cream mixed with warm fudge swirl around her mouth, hoping it would soothe away her frustrations.

  Maddie sipped her chocolate shake. “You know, I’m the one who’s pregnant and supposed to be having ice cream cravings. Not you.”

  Staring at her dessert, her dinner replacement for the evening, Rachel debated her next words. Maybe blunt was the best way to go. “We need to talk about your dad.”

  The color on Maddie’s face paled to a scary shade of beige. “Well. Maybe I need to go get something stronger than this shake.”

  “We never really talk about it, and—I just can’t stop thinking about it lately.” She was lecturing herself more than she was Maddie.

  “Whatever happened to letting the past stay in the past?”

  They’d had a long talk after they reunited right after Maddie and Reuben’s wedding. But both women had decided to move forward instead of dwelling on what had been. “That’s all fine and good except—” She sat back and took a breath. “It’s all Cameron’s fault.”

  Maddie shook her head. “Hold on a second. What does my dad have to do with Cam?”

  “You don’t see the similarities? They’re both insanely tall. Heads full of red hair. I just—I know it’s dumb. But every time I see Cameron, it’s like your dad has come back to haunt me. The memories are killing me, Maddie.”

  Maddie gnawed on her straw for a minute, her mouth turned down in a frown. “I mean. I get that. But—they aren’t twins by any means.”

  Twisting her spoon in her melting ice cream, Rachel shrugged. “I know. The thoughts are there, nonetheless. It’s probably stupid, but I swore to myself I’d stay away from any man who remotely reminded me of Jared. Red heads were out. Tall guys were no-no’s. Definitely not handsome ones who—” She shook her head, scattering those thoughts. That he brought back desires she had long snuffed out was something she would never admit. Period. “I just want you to stop pushing Cameron on me. That’s it.”

  “Then you do like him?”

  Yes. She did. Against every single logical reason she shouldn’t. “It doesn’t matter what I like. He’s not the right guy for me. End of story.”

  Maddie shoved her shake aside and leaned forward, arms folded on the table. “Are you really not going to give a guy a chance because of his height and hair color? Dad was tall, but not nearly as tall as Cam. And his hair was so bright red he might as well have dipped it in carrot juice, and he was a thick giant. Cam is lean and is more auburn than redheaded.”

  Even though her heart felt like a ton of bricks was piled on top, Rachel had to admit, there were more differences than similarities.

  But no.

  She'd sworn to no red heads.

  No tall guys.

  And definitely no handsome guys that gave her heart palpitations just looking at them. “I just—I guess I’d buried that part of my life, and it’s brought it all flooding back.”

  “What about me, though? Do I bring back bad memories?”

  Rachel pointed her spoon full of ice cream at Maddie. “You, my dear, are the only good memory I have of my time with Jared. You and Kyle, of course.”

  Maddie sucked on the milkshake, the gurgling sound of emptying the last bit from the cup obnoxiously loud. “What can I say? We’re just memorable like that.” She slid the empty container away, her face sobering. “You have no idea how thankful I am for you, Rachel. I know we’ve had this unspoken rule of not talking about it, but I wouldn’t be here today if you hadn’t been there for us. I think God has this fantastic way of using our brokenness, our mistakes, to do great things. You not only saved me from Dad's fists more than once, but you also loved me at a time when I desperately needed it.”

  Rachel sat back in the booth and closed her eyes for a moment, the miracle of it washing over her for the second time today.

  God did that.

  God took the lowest moment in her life, the worst mistake she’d ever made, and used it.

  Those years were held against her heart like a giant scarlet letter she’d stuffed in the deepest closet of her soul.

  Maddie slid her phone out of her pocket and tapped on the screen.
“Hold on, there’s something I wanted to look up.”

  “Yeah right. You’re probably trying to get the next Candy Crush level.”

  She glanced up and winked. “Shut up. I’m using the Bible app. And plus I’m stuck on a stupid level so it’s pointless. I’ve given up on it.” She kept tapping and scrolling on her screen. “Okay, I found it. I couldn’t remember the lady’s name I was reading about the other day, but I thought of us. You know the story of Rahab? I’d never heard of her before.”

  “Yeah, but it’s been a while. Don’t remember all the details.”

  “She was the prostitute in Jericho. The spies came and she hid them, and in turn they spared her and her family’s lives. I just thought it was super cool someone who was so deep in sin could still be used for God’s glory, for his purpose, you know? And not only did he spare her, but her obedience saved her family too.”

  The story came back to her, a familiar one from youth group. Not that she’d listened much back then. She’d been more interested in boys, and much to her shame, maybe flirting a little with their hot—married—youth pastor.

  But one thing she’d forgotten came to mind now. “Did you know Rahab is one of Jesus' ancestors too? I can’t remember what book, but I think one of the Gospels lists her in the line of Jesus.”

  Maddie tapped the screen a few more times, typed something, and a moment later, her eyes lit up. “You’re right. It’s in Matthew. I didn’t know that. How cool is that?”

  Rachel tried not to laugh at the hilarity of the whole thing. Here she was, sitting in the Yum-Yum Shop with Maddie. Both of them had pasts which were pretty much as torrid as Rahab herself, and they were looking up Scripture like old Christian pros. Ten years ago she would have rolled her eyes at the thought and told some pretty awful jokes.

  God truly had redeemed them.

  As far as the east is from the west…

  So were her sins. Her scarlet letter was gone. Not in a closet, but completely erased.

  Maybe it was about time she accepted that and moved on. Had a little faith that not only could God redeem her, but He could also bring something amazing out of it.

  What if her new life included a certain handsome redhead?

  Lord, you wouldn’t do that, would you?

  A picture of Jesus filled her brain. It was the picture portrayed in all the paintings that were probably not even close to what he even looked like. The difference was, in her mind, he stood, arms crossed, a sly smirk on his lips.

  And he was winking at her.

  Nine

  Cameron tapped the brakes as he approached Sandwich’s quaint downtown. Passing the train diner, he took a right onto Main Street and parked in Art’s Supermarket lot where Rachel had texted to meet.

  Hopefully he wasn’t too late. He’d gone to Chicago for a meeting that morning but had finished his business and jetted out of there faster than he should have. But no way was he missing this opportunity. Rachel actually wanted him there instead of tolerating his presence, a rare change in her usual animosity. And she’d even emailed him midweek with a few other ideas she’d had.

  He’d been afraid she would totally ignore him after his dating suggestion.

  Rachel stood in front of her tiny Honda, a few familiar youth standing in a circle around her. She looked up, a small smile forming on her lips, and motioned for him to join them. “We’re just giving out assignments.”

  He stuffed his hands in his pockets for safe keeping. The woman he longed to date looked—hot. He wasn’t sure if it was the outfit that accentuated her curves or the fact she was surrounded by kids and completely in her element, but a dangerous desire to push aside teenagers, snatch her into his arms, and kiss her burned in him. Instead, he swallowed the thought and nodded, pretending everything was normal. “Sounds good.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment as if trying to figure him out, then looked back at her clipboard. “Sean’s mom volunteered to take a group east toward Walmart, and the rest of them are walking around downtown. I figured we’d stay central to supervise and be a home base.”

  He nodded, even though it seemed a little odd. Shouldn’t they split up with the groups too? But no way would he argue against more time—alone—with Rachel.

  He wasn’t sure how Melissa usually did this part anyway, only that they did it. He glanced at his watch. It was quarter to four. “When are we meeting back?”

  “We’ll gather at the center around six. I’ve already ordered Gene’s carryout, so was hoping you could go pick it up for us while I walk the kids back?”

  The center was in one of the downtown buildings within walking distance. “Sounds like a plan.”

  She gave the final instructions. Five boys went with Sean’s mom, including Kyle. The rest of them split up and started in opposite directions downtown, a few parent volunteers tagging along.

  Which left Rachel with him. Alone.

  Cameron held back the urge to thrust a victorious fist pump in the air.

  Rachel hugged herself, rubbing her bare arms with her hands. “Fall's finally catching up with us. I should’ve thought to bring a jacket. Why don’t we sit in the car and watch them for a bit?”

  He glanced around, wondering if maybe he was on one of those joke TV shows where they set the guy up to look like an idiot. HA HA. You thought the girl was into you? You are such an idiot.

  Ye of little faith.

  The words came to him as he followed her lead and settled into the passenger seat of her little car, his legs folded up to almost touch his chest.

  He’d prayed a lot in the past week. For God to soften Rachel’s heart toward him. For patience and wisdom. For, well, for a wife. Not Rachel specifically, but that God would hear his heart’s desire.

  And here he was. Alone in a cramped car with the woman who occupied his thoughts almost 24/7, and he was questioning it.

  Yeah, stupid.

  He could almost hear his mom yelling, “The charm, Cameron! Turn on the charm!”

  Charm wasn’t easy to turn on when your lungs couldn’t expand.

  Rachel settled in the driver’s seat, her legs comfortably draped in front of her.

  She looked gorgeous today in her knee-length button-up dress, leggings, and a belt that hung loose around her curvy waist. Her hair was down, chocolate curls tempting him to reach out and wrap one around his finger.

  She glanced at him, her lips turned up in a nervous smile. “Thanks for coming.”

  It was on the tip of his tongue to mention he felt like an unneeded third wheel, but she couldn’t get rid of him now if she tried. “No problem. Looks like you have it all organized. You’ve done a great job.”

  A pretty pink blush kissed her cheeks. “Thanks. It’s hard putting it together on such short notice, but it seems to be coming along. We still need to chat about some of the activities and games and things. There’ll be plenty of time to get it all done, though. And goodness, I’m so proud of the kids. They’ve totally owned this. I’ve never seen youth band together like they have.”

  “It’s nice seeing Kyle take such an interest too. Last year he helped, but it was pretty half-hearted. I think it helps you’re leading it. Next to Maddie, the boy seems to be totally taken with you.”

  “I was his mom figure for almost a year. It makes sense.” Her gaze dropped to her hands she wrung together. Her knuckles were pure white.

  He’d known they had a history, but no one had offered an explanation, and it never felt right to ask. But Rachel didn’t seem much older than Maddie, so this new revelation confused him even more.

  Rachel fiddled with an opal pinky ring on her finger. “Did—did anyone ever tell you how Maddie and I met?”

  He swallowed the lump built up in his throat and shook his head. She was offering to tell her story. One he sensed she didn’t tell many people.

  She leaned her head back onto the seat and looked at him, her silver eyes open and vulnerable. “It’s kind of a long story.”

  “It�
��ll be a while before anyone comes back.”

  Her eyes fluttered close, dark eyelashes caressing her cheeks. “I was twenty-one and Jared was—” She smiled. Not a joyful grin, but a lopsided one, almost rueful. “Jared was old. Like, twice my age, just a few years younger than my dad, old.”

  Cam shifted toward her, admiring her silhouette, praying God would prepare his heart for her story.

  “I met him in a bar on my twenty-first birthday. I was in the mood to rebel and he was in the mood to take advantage of that, I guess. He was such a gentleman. Bought me my first drink. Told me how beautiful and mature I was. He said he couldn’t believe I was so young. I—” She popped her eyes open, uncertainty filling them. “He wanted more than I would give, if you get my drift.”

  He nodded, unable to allow words through his thick throat.

  “I grew up in church. All the purity talks and threats of disease and pregnancy scared the daylights out of me. I wanted to be mature, but I sure wasn’t ready for a baby or any kind of responsibility. So, I gave him my phone number, flirted like crazy, and left.”

  Her eyes held a tortured hurt he would give anything to ease. This car was way too small. If they were in his truck, he’d pull her over to him and put his arm around her. “I assume he called?”

  “We met back at the bar for a few months, dating I guess you’d call it. But then, my parents were being unreasonable, or so I thought. They were forking out a lot of money for college, and my grades were slipping big time. So I decided to show them I was big stuff and invited Jared home for dinner.”

  Cameron wasn’t a dad, but he could only imagine how well that went over. “What’d they do?”

  “Dad threatened to call the police if he didn’t leave. Told me he wouldn't pay another dime toward college or my living expenses if I continued to see Jared. My mom was slightly less ferocious, but I screamed at them both and left, telling them where they could take their tuition money and shove it. Then I walked out of their house, ready to ride away with my knight in shining armor.”

  “I’m guessing his armor ended up not being so shiny.”